Sharing my love 

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This picture was taking the night before I went to be induced to have my daughter… The whole family was excited and nervous we lay like this for a while taking in the bliss of the 4 of us(my son, husband, pug and myself)! We had always been a great team.. I remember all the important memories of my little mans milestones… I’d look into his eyes many times and get that magnificent stomach flip, lump in the throat feelings.. He was mine.. 

When you watch your child grow and develop Infront our your eyes you are always filled with pride… Everything our families have done in this perfect little persons life is to raise, guide and nurture him. On the build up to having our second child I couldn’t help feel guilty.. Guilty that he wouldn’t have my full attention, guilty he would have to share me… And on the other hand how could I possibly ever love another child the same… Riddled with anxiety at the thought everything was going to change.. He was my baby my only baby and I felt I was betraying him.. How would he cope? Would he be jealous? Would he like his sibling? 

Il never know why I ever doubted my little man.. He was amazing from the second my daughter was born, he is caring, loving, gentle, sympathetic and much more. Il never forget the pride and love that filled his face when he stepped around that hospital curtain and met his little sister… He has amazed me in the last 6 months my little baby turned into a big boy over night.. Looking at him many days and finding it unbelievable how he’s grown up Infront of my eyes. 

Becoming a big bother he has matured, been patient, always kind, loving and sharing, no flicker of jealousy, no confusion. He’s so patient when I say again “wait a minute son”, “two seconds I’m feeding, rocking, bathing, changing etc your sister” his response always “ok mum”. Im so proud of him, he leaves me speechless continuously whilst seeing his amazing qualities shine through and his lovely personality taking form. 

I always plan to let him know how important he is to me, how much I love him and how good of a big brother he is. I’m lucky he is the way he is and adapted so well, he will always be my number one and my little boy because il never not tell him. It’s shocked me I love my children the same I never thought I’d would, I clearly have enough love to share. 

Ambitions 

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If there’s one thing I love to read.. It’s quotes and inspirational ones at that.

Life is extremely short as most of us are aware, wishfully fun and full of happiness. I believe fully and forcefully we need to make the absolute most of it. Many people state that good things come to those who wait or people make their own luck etc I think we need to grab life with firm hands..push.. Excel and dream. Make your own luck, work hard for your successes. Nothing comes easy, if you really want something you need to believe it will happen and not stop until it does. If it’s not worth fighting for it isn’t worth having. 

Whether these goals are for careers, skills, or humble family life. We need to take charge..make things happen. Aim to be the best in whatever you desire. Don’t wait for an opportunity to arise go and make that opportunity happen. 

Hard times are sent to test us, if we can over come trying obstacles with strength we have the strength to fulfil our ambitions. If you want to change career, reeducate yourself, start a business venture do it now, why wait, aim high then higher again. If you want to do something you can, everyone is smart and capable enough todo so, self belief encourages the people surrounding you to believe in you too. Stepping up and taking charge doesn’t have to be chaotic with a heavy heart and level head.

A message for my daughter

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I came across this lovely picture today… 

 
We are living in a world that revolves around looks… What an ugly scary world it can be… Social media is everywhere and young girls and women are endlessly comparing themselves to these sometimes unrealistic “idols” 

I think I am quite lucky.. I was brought up to love myself and not care what other people think!!! I’m happy for it!! I love having a tan, doing makeup etc many women do but I’m also not affraid to bare all and be myself. You witness as you grow up the most beautiful girl in the world can have the ugliest personality therefore making her an ugly person. I’m a true believer that what is inside is important… Good looks fade a good heart doesn’t. 

As I sit her with my beautiful 6month old daughter I recall how I tell her daily how much I love her, how pretty she is etc… I will never stop telling her and will make a  vow to tell her at least once everyday something beautiful about her, I want her to grow up to love herself, respect herself and be happy…I will not allow her to obsess about her appearance or care what other people may think!!! I will raise her to be a strong woman and not allow others to sway her judgement on herself…

I will raise her to search beyond looks in every person she meets, to always be kind and not ignorant… In return I hope she will always be surrounded by people who love her for herself as me and her daddy always will.

In regards to my 6year old I’m already on the right track, I tell him how gorgeous and kind he is everyday in return he tells me yes I know mum you tell me all the time… He already loves himself as much as I do and doesn’t care what people think what a wonderful quality in a child… Iv read many times of children as young as him to be obsessed with looks and weight… How scary

Breastfeeding 

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Well what can I say on a subject that is literally talked about everywhere at the minute… I love it and it is one of my biggest achievements.

I have been feeding my daughter for her 6months of life and at the minute I have no intention of stopping anytime soon

When I had Alfie I was 20years old and under no circumstance would I even consider to breastfeed him.. I felt I was too young, inexperienced obviously, embarrassed and much more though I look at Isla and regret not trying with Alfie.. I wish I knew then what I know now. I had no knowledge of breastfeeding  as only one of my aunts fed her daughter and with being in different continents at the time it was something I didn’t witness. However in 2013 my friend had a little boy and she breastfeed and I will never forget the day she done it In my company.. I was mortified I didn’t know where to look it was completely not normal for me!! I also remember telling her a few times “get that baby off the diddy”lol though I have since told her because of my experience now I regret having ever said that to her… As Iv heard it many times myself.

I decided whilst pregnant I would give it a go if it didn’t work out for us then fine but I’d like to try.. I can’t pin point the actual reason why, maybe a cluster of different reasons but one being that in my head I had decided this  would be my last pregnancy and maybe I felt I should at least of experienced it even for a short time or even for my child’s first feed.

Along came Isla and the first feed she latched with absolutely no problem, some things I didn’t really know what to expect with being a mother for the second time I never bothered with books.. I felt a dab hand at babies.. I didn’t need them!! I was wrong winging it was not going to be easy!! Just before I had Isla my husband decided to read my breastfeeding leaflet every now and then stating some facts to me, asking did you know??… No I bloody didn’t!!! SHIT!! I thought I’m being induced Iv a long day ahead of me plenty of time to read… Nope got the first page read when I was catapulted into the operating theatre.. The first page educating me enough to have an understand of why to feed… Not how to feed…

I was delighted at the first feed.. Happy days latch perfect .. Happy baby happy mummy.. Nothing prepared me for the next 24hours!! Isla and I both sleeping 5 minutes at a time and I recon getting a total of an hour, exhausted, frustrated, in agony from my section and also the overwhelming emotions of being a new mum and incredibly sore nipples. If it wasn’t for the midwife I had that night I don’t know if I would of stuck it she tried nursing Isla to let me sleep but she just cried steady, fed steady and needed comforted.. I wasn’t use to this Alfie had a bottle, winded, changed, back over for 3 hours… My baby didn’t seem happy.. But what my husband considers one of my best qualities , I do not give in, I push myself!! if I have a goal insight I reach it… I will not be beat.

At some stages the midwife was actually holding my breast in Islas mouth encouraging her to latch… Eventually we got it spot on… However the next two weeks were trying times the pain every time she latched to feed was horrendous. I use to hold my breath as I brought her Wee tiny head into me and clench my teeth to make it through the pain… It did get better and then the pain near enough stopped, we had hard times through what we thought was colic then silent reflux but we made it though.

I understand it isn’t for everyone but I for one never in a million years thought it would be for me but I feel super proud my baby is all home grown, she has thrived so well and gained weight quicker than I would imagine, she is the happiest most content Wee joy… And it’s all from mamas magic milk..

My initial goal was 6months and we’ve reached it!! Iv extended to a year my maximum., I just couldn’t image stopping anytime soon. I love the bond it has given us I really can’t put it into words… And I doubt il every be able to give it the description and detail it deserves… It is utterly magical and natural.

I still find it uncomfortable in situations feeding in public but we’re over coming these feeling of awkwardness once place and step at a time, I encourage any new mummies to give it a go if you want if it’s not for you don’t feel pressured either, I must admit iv found myself quite an advocate for it and will now continue to preach the benefits, encouragement and knowledge when and where I can.

Benefits of breast feeding NHS link in bio

Feel free to leave a Wee comment, like, follow or ask any questions you might have

Hair 101

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I have been hairdressing for 5years now and I can honestly say I love every aspect of it… I enjoy styling bridal parties, all forms of colouring restyling and many more… In this industry we are always evolving and learning on a daily basis…A few quick do’s and dont’s to caring for your hair at home…

  • brush your hair… At least twice a day… This helps remove dirt ‘tats’ etc.. There is literally nothing worse when diving in, to foil or meche a full head firstly not getting a comb through the hair or worse yet separating the hair to see something that resembles a spiders nest…a matted mess, always brush your hair from the bottom up never roots first and especially when wet your hair is at its most vulnerable when wet and can easily break.
  • Invest in a good hair cut regularly to keep your hair healthy, avoid damage and making it easier to manage.  look closely at your ends if they do not come to a blunt end its time for a trim. For shorter styles I would say between 4-6weeks , shoulder length and longer anywhere between 6-10 weeks.
  • try and let your hair dry by itself whenever possible. I am currently using 3 different products which il talk about later.. I wash(always twice) condition or use a treatment then towel dry brush and apply.
  • if you want elaborate colouring be prepared to nurse your hair after religiously… Every hairdresser will tell you we can only do so much in the salon, the upkeep depends on you.
  • red and black are the hardest colours to remove and blondes require the most up keep so always think long and hard about the colour you choose.
  • The obvious one for me is being realistic… Listen to your stylist she knows her job… She or maybe he is educated they will be honest with you or your expectations!!!

Avoid tying hair too tight or too often, this causes breakage and in some cases alopecia, I always use a 

Magi:bobble

  1. prevents split ends
  2. prevents hair breakage
  3. water resistant
  4. reduces tension on the scalp
  5. grips hair firmly
  6. easy cleaned
  7. hygienic
  8. perfect for all hair types
  9. Wear as an accessory
  10. perfect for sports

#magibobble link in bio
other products I am currently using :

L’Oréal Paris ELVIVE Extraordinary OIL >

 I like this product because it is suitable for all hair types, I always use two pumps mainly after I wash my hair before combing out but it can also be used before, it has really softened my hair after I have lightened it.

Ogx Weightless hydration coconut water >

Iv found that anything coconut oil based its fantastic after starting to use on my face also I like this product because it does what it says, light hydration with out the heavy clumpy oil leaving the hair greasy looking. I use this also after washing before blow drying my hair as this product is best used along with a blow dry as it closes the hair shaft locking in the moisture. My mother in law actually bought this for my husbands beard and Iv pinched it.

Schwarzkopt Repair Rescue spray conditioner

This for damaged hair but I think it would be suited to all hair types, I think everyone should use a leave in conditioner when combing out as it softens and protects the hair against the dreaded brush, I think this product has done what it says and recused my hair after colouring processes.

whilst using these I also use various treatments weekly but as a busy mum I don’t have the time to properly treat and blowdry my hair, I mostly wash use these and Bung it up using a magi:bobble and let it dry it’s self. using these products takes literally under a minute so it is easy to add into your routine and the results are worth it
#hair101 #haircare #hairtips #products

Marriage

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So Iv rambled on about my children and failed to praise the main man himself, my husband Christopher. Who gave me the gift of two beautiful children, he is not only an amazing father but also a wonderful husband, I am forever grateful.

I have mixed opinions on marriage, between modern day and Stone Age times the two merge for me… It can be a sore subject in many house holds “it’s a woman’s job” and “it’s a mans job” I think we mostly follow suit from our parents and family members. I would like to think I base my marriage on my parents, after all I have been observing them for 27years and they are clearly doing something right.

I believe marriage should be equal, the responsibilities being equal and the input into the marriage, all marriages have highs and lows and its whether or not you decide to over come them… In modern day it is too easy for couples to get divorced, many walking into a marriage with the wrong attitude, as society today divorce is not frowned upon I’m fully aware that for whatever reasons marriage doesn’t work and results in divorce but I don’t believe in setting your attitude up for a fail, and putting a downer on it before the ink is dry.  On my wedding day i made a vow to myself to always try.. To believe and push beyond all obstacles because I had the attitude that this commitment is forever and that’s exactly what i want.

Iv been married for two years and right now I am still in the honeymoon period me and my hubby just seem to gel and work well as a team… I consider myself one of the lucky ones we argue and bicker and makeup, 98% of our arguments are about housework cue the Stone Age views 1% kids and 1% over trivial subjects… We make eachother laugh at least 5 times a day… We share the same order of priorities and the same goals as a family

I am always keen to give advice and listen to others on their marriages and relationships Iv never claimed mine to be perfect because let’s face it nothing in the world is perfect to others but it’s perfect in its own ways to you… The key to all good healthy relationships is communication, appreciation and happiness… You need all three

in regards to my opinions if you are not happy don’t stay, don’t stay because your expected to or for the kids etc stay because you want to and there is no where else you want to be.. Always strive to be happy or at least have happy moments daily, bring out the best qualities in each other, support, praise and show affection.

If you walk into your marriage knowing you are marrying for all the right reasons I truly believe you will never second guess it or regret it a day in your life. I believe people should really know each other before they even consider an engagement, have a strong grasp on life living together and the future, have the same priorities i.e your children come first, build careers etc whatever suits. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.

Labour pains part 2 

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So as I carry on talking about my labours I move onto child number 2 Miss Isla Faye… Who is currently  hanging off my diddy and kicking the life out of me.. In search for Isla you can be sure she is never more than a foot from the milking machine.

With my Wee bird me and my husband were trying for 4 months, I always thought it was six but after talking about it recently I realised I misjudged time…

So I thought I was pregnant pretty much every month, one month late one month on time which I soon learned was because I had two different cycles….. In those 4months I genuinely spent a fortune on pregnancy tests, it got to the stage I had to lie to my husband about how many I was buying 😂 I eventually bought what I would consider as bulk!! I was doing them in the morning, lunch time, dinner time, night before bath and before going to sleep…. I near enough bloody dreamed of pregnancy tests..

The day I found out my bestfriend was with me we both knew I was but i told my hubby and mum and they weren’t convinced… I had become that obsessed they near thought i was imagining the lines as they were so faint … Though I was right i was with child.

My pregnancy with Isla was awful I did try to not moan too much!! Who was I kidding anyone that asked heard about it.. And I would be the first to opinionate when someone pregnant moaned I detest pity parties and am probably the most unsympathetic person you will meet but I felt shockingly sorry for myself lol towards the end they were back and forth between a c-section and natural because I had pregnancy diabetes there was too much fluid around her which caused her to keep rotating.. I hated the thought of a section I must admit I was petrified, it was the unknown for me I wanted natural all the way I knew what to expect.

Because of all the factors I was booked in for induced labour with Isla on the 10th of October 2015 I was due the day after.. Friend of mine had been induced so I thought I knew what I was in for… I was checked around 9:00am having been there from 8:00am but they could not get a fetal heart Monitor for a long enough period of time as Isla decided she was in a horse and jockey race.. Her being the horse!! She wouldn’t keep still!! I was 3-4cm and delighted obvious slow labour as I had pains for a week maybe something to do with deciding to decorate 3rooms a week before I was due 🙈

Skimming over irrelavant details the midwife decided on inserting a pessary which Is basically like a tablet one in 5 pregnancies in the uk are induced, a lot of inductions can last 24hours and can lead to adding other pessaries or gels… Mine however didn’t get that far. At about a10:15am this was inserted the midwife told my husband could be hours before any activity and to go and grab me some food etc she couldn’t have been more wrong within 10-15mins the pain was unbareable I knew instantly I wasn’t suppose to feel like this something was wrong… She checked me again and I could see panic all over her face whilst she kept a professional composure I was having no breaks like regular contractions just constant pain to the extent I though the baby was clawing out of me..

Whilst all this was happening my husband had went and got me a fry and took a Wee stroll to the shop and having a flick through a mag or two! The midwife flipped me over and round every angle of that bed to get a heart rate on the baby from the outside looking in I’m sure I resembled a drunk baby whale and I sure felt like one.. She whipped the pessary out and nothing improved doctors nurses etc rushed round.. The decision was made to have a preform a section… Panic filled me with all thoughts firstly WHERE THE FUCK WAS MY HUSBAND!! I begged them to find him whilst they flipped and pulled me like a rag doll, bra whipped off earrings yanked out!! It was literally 2 minutes what had passed I didn’t have time to absorb the information or prepare myself and I do not like surprises…

Chris arrived back and the dread that filled his face is an expression il never forget. I was petrified but I couldn’t show him my husband is the biggest softie and worrier I had to be strong for him our marriage is based on my reactions if I worry he worries if I’m sad he is sad!! Nothing prepared either of us for this I kissed him quick and was whisked off.. The run to the operation theatre was seconds.. I had a swarm of people gather round me id say about 8 and all I could think was oh my what if I die and leave Chris with these two kids by himself… It was never an option in my head whether my baby was ok!!!it had to be!! I already loved it so much the tears filled my eyes and my body shook I couldn’t look around I stared at the ceiling… The most amazing midwife I could have asked for noticed this fear whilst the rest did their jobs preping me, she placed two hands on either side of my head and looked me in the eyes told me I was ok my baby was ok but the baby needed out now…. I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest and I could breathe the relief those words from a stranger gave me prepared me for this moment.

In total I was in theatre for 10 minutes… Amazing a team of people can do something so skilled so quickly… I don’t recall much after just coming round and asking if my baby was ok and what sex was it?? When I heard it was a girl I just cried and cried.. I looked and Chris holding her and cried some more…

I those short moments i proved to myself that the old saying was true “I’d die for my kids” I was never in a position to experience the feeling before but being wheeled away from my husband I was prepared to give everything so that my baby was ok… And that she was all 6lbs10 and 53cm of her 💕😘

#like #follow #mum #birth #labourpains

Labour pains 

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One thing as women we enjoy discussing our pregnancies births and children all conversations one way or another seem to steer on the road to here.

In a way it’s nearly like a competition who had the longest, who had the worst, who can shock with their tale the most!! And this competition should have a statement, like a medal around our neck so people stop and ask oh what’s that for? and we tell another.. It goes back to these simple points:

  • We made them
  • We carried them
  • We birthed them

And these gruelling processes made us accomplish something amazing…. There is nothing like it…. We are shockingly proud

My first birth with my son was pretty straight forward he was due on the 10th of February 2010 I went into labour on the  7th of February, just little niggles to start every two hours or so that was in the morning!!! I started getting excited then extremely nervous… Then near into a panic in my head I was screaming NOT Ready… I decided to go to bed around 12:00am as not much was happening within an hour I was contracting every 15minutes, il never forget Christopher’s(hubby) face went I poked to say “I think this is it” I’m sure that is a sentence that most men dread to hear when the due date is insight.

I decided to ring the hospital and my mum as she was going to be my birthing partner… I was completely prepared in every sense eg Hosp bag everything for baby etc but I was not prepared for the long labour and everything after lol I wish I knew then what I know now but everything we learn we “learn from life” and experience.

At 2:00am I made my mum come to my house whilst I paced the floors, had baths and made her and my husband rub my back whilst shouting insults and inventing curse words every now and then!🙈 this went on till 5:00am till I couldn’t stick the pain… Made our way to hospital and low and behold they slowed to a near stop! I will admit I was gutted though slightly relived lol fast forward 12hours and not much had changed had bits of visitors and text messages all anticipating the new arrival… I felt as if it was a surprise party and I was bringing the guest of honour … Things kicked off a while later a lot of which was a blur as I was high as a kite on pethodine and Gas and air.. They put me on a drip to bring on labour though I still felt it was never going to end.

I read my pregnancy book quite well which seemed to not be well enough as I had no clue what was happening to me and I felt like the silliest girl in the ward,nothing prepared me for his process.

Fast forward again and my son was born at 4:20am on the 9th of February after actively pushing for not too long but also pushing wrong, as a natural reaction I thought I had to push from my front and not actually the bottom as if I’d been constipated for a month… he arrived safe and sound all 6lbs 49cm of flawless baby!! I could never describe the feelings that all stabbed my heart at once, it felt like a pin cushion being pinned thousands of times over the sheer joy I have never experienced before that moment and didn’t again until my daughter was born.

To add Alfie just spotted me and said are you writing a story?? I said yeah sort of he said wow mum that’s incredible if it’s in a book can I buy it lol is it strange I already know my 6year old is proud of me… I hope he knows one exactly how proud I am of both of us starting from that day of labour pains 😘😘

Labour pains to be continued …

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Motherhood 

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To kick start my series of thoughts, opinions, passions and all else I might add to my blog id like to start with my greatest accomplishment

Being a mummy 😀

In some senses i don’t know where to start or even how to explain! I will always have the memories for both my children

The pregnancy tests, the changing of my body, the tiredness…aches and pains … The highs and the lows!! But always remembering I created the little lives inside me and barely containing the excitement and anticipation!!

With my little boy Alfie I had quite a straight forward pregnancy and In comparison to my daughter Isla it was quite a breeze!! I didn’t know it my son didn’t know it and no one else but that little peanut I seen in my 12 scan back in 2009 would change my life heart and soul forever

The gift my son gave me was priceless he made me the person I am I learned more from him than he will ever know, I learned to be selfless, caring, nurturing, committed, loving and much more.. Not that I didn’t posses these qualities before him but he amplified them and burst everything wide open… He made me want to do well not only for him my husband and family but also for myself when he was 7 months old I decided to go back into education and train as a hairdresser a career I had always longed for and I stuck 3 hard years training, working, raising a child and running a house all with help and thanks to my amazing husband and family and the drive to do myself proud for my son

Then there is my little Lala Bird … Isla! I never found out with either pregnancies what sex I was having much to my disappointment I was dying to know but my husband was dead set against it lol I longed for another baby after our wedding in 2014 to complete our family as Alfie was 4 years old by then and I hated the gap I was creating between Children.

I had what I describe as a horrific pregnancy with Isla, sickness all times of the day for the first 24 weeks with a few weeks gap then sick again, carpal tunnel!! Pregnancy diabetes then she decided to lie breech then transverse then continuing to rotate lol all resulting in quite a scary labour but there’s another time and post for that subject

Isla has also given me a gift the gift of a mother and daughter bond… I never had a desire for a particular sex with her I always wanted a boy first and what I got second I didn’t mind.. Although I had myself convinced she was a boy!! When I came round and asked the nurse was my baby ok and what was it she just said girl I remember no conversation no face or what was going on but I just cried with joy I didn’t realise my desire for a girl till I had her

I remember briefly thinking in my pregnancy two children are enough il be happy with that my little guy then a boy or girl il be blessed but then I remember being sad at the thought of never having a girl… There are a lot of women in my family and we are all close especially me and my mum.. I was thinking what if I never have that bond with a daughter that me and mum have? What if I never help a daughter on her wedding day? What if I never go for a coffee date or shopping? Or plait a daughters hair? I began looking at mothers and daughters all around and thinking what If I never had that

Low and behold I had a daughter!! My daughter Who I will experience all my wishes with and more.. today we sat at 6 months old and had our first tea party 💕 these are the Memories I will make and always cherish I have a little best friend who will always be my best friend as my mother is mine il have the days with her I have cherished with my own and for that I’m glad I secretly wished for my daughter